Thursday, April 18, 2013

Public Service Announcement

Ok ladies, the sun is starting to shine, the days are getting longer, and pants are getting shorter. This means one thing, summer is almost here!!

With summer right around the corner and flip flops coming out I feel that it is my duty to the American public to give you some steps to prepare those dogs to be hanging out.

Every year I see people walking around with poorly prepared feet and it makes me want to vomit. 

First Step: Have clean feet. Dirty feet are gross!

Second Step:  Trim those nails.

Third Step:  Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize!!! I cannot stress this enough. Cracked heels are disgusting. True Story: I worked at a doctors office for several years and one of the doctors recommended Crisco to keep you moisturized. Just put some on your feet and some socks before bed. When you wake up your feet will be super soft and you can wash away the yucky left overs in the shower. (He also recommended it for dry hands and to treat eczema). I do this for my feet every couple of weeks.

This one. Not the butter one, haha!!

Fourth Step: If you don't want polish on your toenails (I won't judge, but WTH? It's so pretty), then at least make sure the nails look good and are not yellow. If you want polish and can't afford a pedicure then paint at home. I paint at home, which is why the paint job is awful but it's hard to tell unless you look closely.

Fifth Step: Make sure your sandals and/or flip flops are clean and in good repair. If they are dirty then throw them away or try selling them on eBay for someone who likes that kind of thing like this. That is not a joke!!

Sixth Step: Make sure your sandals and/or flip flops actually fit you. No one is going to judge you if you have to get a 1/2 size bigger shoe, it's not like you are buying bigger pants. I took some pics for you of flip flops that do not fit. If your feet hang over the side or the end, THEN THEY DON"T FIT, either buy a bigger size or a different style. Know your limits. I am fully aware that I can't buy Nike flip flops, they are too narrow, so I buy Adidas. Here are some BIG "NO's." (Please enjoy my Perez Hilton type photo editing)

Your feet should NOT hang over the back of your shoe. Also, notice there is NO dry skin. I had to scoot my foot back to get this pic!!

Toes should not hang over the side or end of shoe.  If you are wondering, I had to scoot my foot up really far to get this pic.
Here are a couple of pics of how your foot should fit your flop:

Final Step: Did I mention moisturize?

Optional:  Super cute tattoos. 

The flip flops pictured are from Vera Bradley and you can get them here. Although, they are out of that pattern :(

Funny quote from a student (age 9):

Justin's beaver played in the celebrity all star basketball game. (If you don't get it, then I feel sorry for you)
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  1. LMAO, I totally love this post!! I linked on to you from one of the blogs that I hopped on to because I saw your title included "Pokey", this is my hubby's nickname, so I had to see what it was about...LOL. I'm a new blogger and your newest follower. : )

    Angelia@ Living Loving Laughing in Suburbia